LA LA LAND archive

The Red Carpet.
UPDATE: This story is interesting to read b/c I talk about Reality 24/7, the start-up reality network that I interned for two summers ago. Well Reality 24/7 went under when Fox Reality stole the idea ("stole" - it is eleged that the idea was stolen and based on what I know, I still believe it to be true. Press releases from Fox, for example, held verbatim things that I had personally written while at 24/7.) Anyway, now that "9 on the Town" is on hiatus, I remain at Tri-Crown working for our show called "Reality Remix" a Reality Talk show/Talk Soup like program that we produce for, guess who, Fox Reality. It's kinda neat how everything comes full circle.

12:27 - pacific time

Dear Diary (and those reading you)

I just got back from the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences Honorary Awards Ceremony and I feel like a total star. It was so amazing. I wish I could explain what I experienced, but I guess its just one of those things that will have to remain in my heart and mind as do some experiences that you all have had the pleasure of having and then attempted to explain to me.

I walked down the red carpet, I brushed elbows (literally) with Tony Danza (who hosted the awards show) and Bob Barker, Katie Couric, etc etc. We started off in the beautiful front courtyard of the Television Arts and Sciences building which was amazingly decorated and catered. We watched the show. They had a live feed from Iraq where Tom Brokow is right now. He was also being honored, but couldn't make it to the show because he is covering the war. "I would love to be there experiencing this with all of you, but my place is here where the action is," he said. "I go to bed every night and ask God to give me another day doing what I love so much."

I laughed, I cried, and after wards I ate amazing horse d'oeuvre and drank wine. It was sooo awesome. I thought about Kate and how she'd want to take pictures on the red carpet. I thought about friends who'd be quoting Happy Gilmore - "the price is wrong biatch!!" I thought about my mom who has a dress that is so exactly like the one Katie Couric was wearing!!! I wished that everyone could be there to experience it. So cool.


In other news, I saw the Terminal the other day with Tom Hanks (well not with him, he was just in it) We saw William Defoe at the theater. By the way, the movie was better than I thought it would be. I really think, Mom, that you should take Ahmad to see it. It reminded me of him on many levels.


Last night Chris, Dan, and I went to Santa Monica. Then we came back and hung out at the apt. We also ran and jumped the locked fence and went swimming in one of the pools. Shhhhhhh!!! Don't tell


News from reality central - it looks like the number of people they'll be hiring at launch is 700 - fingers crossed, because things are looking good! I could be on TV too, but that's a whole other story.

Hope all is well with everyone. I miss you guys. Love ya

Heather

Relax Already!

For those of you who live in LA, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. For those of you who don't, it may just be worth the trip! Head down to Casablanca Salon and Spa in Sherman Oaks (ask for Sheila when booking your treatment) and you'll save 20 percent!!!

Casablanca Salon and Spa
14202 Ventura Blvd
Sherman Oaks, CA 91423
(say Heather from Desire sent you)

_ - _ - _

"Oh don't cross your legs dear," Jintrey, my massage therapist, said kindly as she peaked her head around the door to check on me in the relaxation room at the spa.

"Wow", I thought as I sipped my warm herbal tea, "She must really want me to get the full relaxing experience."

But this wasn't just an attempt to help me shed my lady-like ways and enter a state of complete relaxation. Jintrey explained that crossing my legs would hinder my circulation to important parts of the body and possibly even cause varicose veins. This was just one of the many tidbits of advice offered up to me while visiting Casablanca Salon and Spa in Sherman Oaks.

This full service spa for men and women features everything from Ayurvedic and Color Treatment Massage therapies to individually formulated facials. In addition, they offer hair and makeup services at an incredible price. The experience is out of this world, but the prices are very down to earth.

I know I must sound like I'm writing a script for my television show "9 on the Town", but I must tell all of you La La Land Journey readers, this place was incredible!!

_ - _ - _

The front of the spa was very inviting. You wouldn't know it from the whole-in-the- wall appearance it offers up to Ventura Blvd, but when I entered I was instantly enchanted by the hardwood floors and hand finished woodworking. The spa used to be an old home that was renovated by the owner many years ago. The front area is designed for hair cuts and colors, makeup, manicures, and pedicures. I'm lead back to the spa which is a sort of "Guest House" off the main building. Just to walk into the relaxation room was so calming; I was very excited about my upcoming treatments. I sipped on tea while filling out a bit of paperwork in preparation for my ayurvedic massage. Honestly, I would have been in heaven just to sit and listen to the violin music spiced with the calming sound of chirping birds.


It's an age-old adage to say "everybody's different". I mean, obviously this is the case, but I wonder if we're really thinking about this fact when it comes to how we treat, nourish, and feed our bodies. Ayurveda, an Indian term, means the science of life. Ayus means life and Veda means knowledge and wisdom. It originated in India more than 10,000 years ago and is believed to be the oldest healing science in existence, from which all other systems emerged. It focuses on the very idea that no body is alike and that we should therefore take our own characteristics, or governing functions as it is called, to determine how to keep our mind, body, and souls healthy. The Tridosha Theory, the basic view of Ayurveda, is that all of life (people, food, animals, nature, the universe, and diseases) are combinations of three energy-elements: air (called Vayu or Vata), fire (called Pitta), and water (called Kapha). When these elements are balanced, one is healthy. Vata, Pitta, and Kapha are the three governing functions and can be determined based on a list of characteristics that each person must relate to. For example, if you are a Vata you are more likely to have excess air which leads to dry skin or gas where as a Pitta has a tendency towards excess heat that leads to acne, heart and ulcer problems.

At the spa, I received an Ayurvedic massage which was specifically catered to my governing functions. Jintrey, the massage therapist who has a background in Eastern Medicines, Holistic healing, and even Chiropractics, was able to mix up essential oils designed specifically for my needs which happened to fall between Pitta and Kapha. The massage was incredible, and as she worked I could feel the release of much of the stress that has built up in my shoulders, neck, and even my feet. She was able to recognizes stresses before I even mentioned them to her. For example, there is more stress in my right leg because of my slight scoliosis. She even noticed the stress in my hands from typing. Maybe I should cut down on these LaLa Land posts!!

Jintrey has also studied color therapy which is an intriguing treatment in itself. She has the ability to work with colors -ones we tend towards, and ones we dislike - in order to therapeutically heal and work we each individual.

_-_-_

Next I moved on to my facial with Sheila. Again, the treatment was specifically designed for me after she assessed my skin. Not only did everything feel amazing, but it smelled wonderful too. She uses a line of products called Eminence which is made in Hungry entirely from organic fruits, vegetables, and other natural ingredients. As I drifted close to a sleeping state, I could smell the eucalyptus, rose pedals, and lemon refreshing and refinishing my face. I also received a mini neck and shoulder massage as part of the treatment which just added to the incredible comfort I was experiencing. Afterwards Sheila gave me an entire print out of food, drink, and regime suggestions that were specific to my needs in order to help me maintain the healthy glow she'd given me.

As I stood in the private locker room and changed out of my plush robe and slippers I looked at myself in the mirror. From head to toe I looked and felt absolutely amazing and at one with myself. These therapies weren't from a recipe book list. They were designed specifically for my needs, and even after they were over, Sheila and Jintrey offered up helpful information and advice for keeping my body healthy.

_-_-

Getting my makeup done by Megan was also a great experience. I was thinking to myself, "It's too bad that I don't have to go anywhere tonight." I don't think running to Ikea really counted as an evening on the town.

Megan uses mineral makeup designed by Pauline Youngblood, a makeup artist who used to work in a plastic surgeons office. Now you know if she can cover up surgery scars right after someone's been under the knife, then she surly can handle a blemish or two. The makeup is completely natural - made literally from minerals- and it is also a natural sunblock because it contains zinc. It's not easy to find though, so head to Casablanca and have Megan help you out. It's more affordable than most department store prices, but watch out. You'll look so gorgeous when you leave that you're bound to spend money on a night out on the town. I'd also recommend getting your makeup done before an interview. Megan will work with you and your schedule so that you, not your forehead, will shine during any occasion.


_-_-_

Just when I thought the day couldn't get any more amazing, I had Mirza do my hair. Now I'm not picky when it comes to most things, but when it comes to my hair I'm the worst! This is the girl who travels from LA all the way to SC to get her hair done because she doesn't trust her locks in the hands of just anyone. Mirza was amazing and I knew it from the moment she spoke about her passion for hair. It started when she asked me if I loved my job. "I think you have to," I said, "Or it isn't the right job for you. Especially when you're gonna spend most of your life doing it." "I love hair." She said, "I just love color." Mirza excited me because of her excitement. She also talked to me to find out just what I wanted and through talking with her I realized that I wasn't just another piece of "fun artwork" for her to be creative with. She understood that while she could be creative, she still had to create a functioning masterpiece when the day was through.

Creating a blonde isn't as simple as taking out the dye labeled "Blonde" and pouring it on. Everything from blue to purple goes into the dyes to create just the right tone, so while a head full of purple dye and foil may seem intimidating, it's really a blessing in disguise. It's important that your stylist speak the language of color so that when you say "I want to be light blonde, not strawberry blonde," she knows you want cool tones, not warm.

Mirza was the first stylist I'd ever been to that presented me with a book of real, up to date, photos and magazine cut outs. It sure beat the style books that you find in most salons that look like they haven't been updates since 1981.

Mirza talks to her clients. She believes its important to examine the natural aspect of the hair to really create a style and color that works. "I like to work with your hair growth when doing color," she explained, " So that your hair has movement - playful movement - when I'm done."

We've heard it time and again, " I leave the salon looking great, but I can never get the same look on my own." Well I must say, my hair is just as playful as it was yesterday and I don't think its taking a break any time soon!

We can't be expected to understand our hair when most of us have trouble grasping the concept of a blowout (I used to think they only referred to tires), but with a great stylist your true colors (and the not-so-true ones) can shine through.


-------

I'd highly recommend taking advantage of the 20 percent off discount on any of these services (until Jan 1st). Just ask for Jintrey, Sheila, Megan, or Mirza and tell them Heather (from Desire LA) sent you!!!!

Casablanca will put you under a spell and leave you feeling beautiful from head to toe. Luckily it isn't a spell at all!!

Let's Save the Planet

go to www.stopglobalwarming.org to join the fight against global warming

LA LA LAND ARCHIVES - Squishy Shoes

I really love this "LA LA Land" oldie. It really makes me laugh to read and remember the evening at the weird sushi place in Venice.


Anyway, lets see. What to tell. Well last night Chris and Dan and I were invited to go to the Onyen premiere movie with Craige Boyer (another intern for those who don't know). We had a few "directional mishaps" and ended up getting there, not late, but on time actually. However, we apparently were supposed to get there early to get a spot so we didn't get to see the Onyen movie which, by the way, has yet to reveal an actual title. We didn't, however, leave empty handed. The woman who originally yelled at us for showing up "late/on time" gave us all free tickets to see a movie.

We saw Saved! with Mandy Moore which wasn't incredible, but was still quite enjoyable. "I just wasn't quite ready for the return of the Culkin," Craige said.
Ha ha. Macaulay Culkin, our good friend Kevin from Home Alone, played an interesting character in a wheel chair. "Was anyone else freaked out by the fact that Culkin didn't change at all since Home Alone?" Dan said.

Before the movie we had to kill some time so we walked around and went to a sushi restaurant. Here's where a funny story comes in:

We go into this place and are immediately yelled at to take our shoes off. I didn't mind too much, but the guys seemed a bit weirded out. We are seated on the ground, in typical Asian style, and I have a bit of a blonde moment (ha ha Megan!!) as I announce to my friends that I can "put my feet down in the hole under the table!!" Hey, sorry, I didn't realize the tables had cubbies under them for your feet. I, of course, am sure that this area is very sanitary (NOT) being as though we are all placing our bare feet down there and there is no way to actually reach the floor boards with a vacuum or any other cleaning device( any ideas Mom, Grandma!!??). The "foot juices" as Dan and Craige so lovingly called them were starting to take hold of my feet.

The bathroom was, in itself, another experience. I mean who wants to tip toe through the TP in bare feet? NOT ME!! So Dan and Craige take use of the "provided shoes" at the bathroom door which they later come to name "juicy shoes" (Craige said they squished when he walked), and I am left with a child's size who-knows-what to squeeze barely my big toe into as I trudged across the bathroom hallway. I still manage to beat the boys out though (Mom, Nick, Miranda... - thought you'd enjoy that!!).

Craige orders fried green tea ice cream and at its delivery proceeds to inquire upon whether or not they ever accidentally mix up the wasabi and the ice cream (they look the same). Hum, that would pose for a shock if someone was to reach for a big scoop of ice cream and instead gets a nice load of wasabi to the throat (KATE!!!)

The rest of our time at the restaurant is spent trying to calculate the bill ( we were kindly provided with a pen and calculator). Then we went to the movie to which Dan commented upon exiting, "Well that was free."

Fun times

Work is great. I had a meeting with a guy from Score - an advertising and marketing firm that does arena advertising. What a salesman, but I felt right at home with the AD lingo and was thanking my lucky stars that I took Sports Marketing. Sweeney may have had hard exams, but I was ready to ask the hard questions during the pitch, and I think it looked good in front of my boss.

Oh and I met Amazing Race Blake Mycoskie for the first time today - kinda cute.
All else is well. I miss everyone bunches. Write soon.

Heather

LA LA LAND ARCHIVES - Reality Shows and Hair Cuts

Ok everyone,
Now that I'm "blogging", I've decided to bring back some of the old emails for your reading pleasure. I'm going to go in order from the original emails that I sent out when I first came out to LA. All the Archives will be in BOLD so you can pick 'em out just in case you only want to read my new stuff. Have fun...and leave comments!!!

Hello Everyone,
Just thought I'd send out another email update about the goings on in La La land. I am starting my second week at Reality Central. So far it has been most enjoyable, and I am excited about all the possibilities here.
This weekend I brought home one of the demo reels that we received from a producer trying to get his show launched. While Dan, Chris, Sam, and I enjoyed this "reality" show, it became very obvious that it could never be aired. Well, it could be aired, but all the stuff that people would actually want to watch would have to be completely edited out. Take away the stripping and the sex scenes and unfortunately what is left over is actually pretty boring. The "characters" are very uninteresting. Oh well. Keep trying all you producers out there!!
Friday night was Digital Domains wrap up party for IRobot. It was definitely a fun time. Chris headed off from work to pick me up Friday afternoon, but I was already done so I walked across the street to the mall. Once Chris got to Santa Monica, we got dinner and ate on the peer near the beach - what a view!! Then we drove to Venice and then went to Digital Domain for the party. They had a life-size robot like the one in the movie inside this giant circular bar. Free drinks for everyone!! And they had the biggest green screen I think I've ever seen (Dave, you'd have fun with that one!) Plus the director and the actor who played the main robot were also there.
Saturday morning Dan and I went to get our first LA hair cuts. It was a fun experience. My cut is really good and I love Dans- he isn't so sure though. I guess I probably like it because it looks just like Matt's hair ( so sad I know!!) but when we went to the salon I wasn't wearing contacts or glasses so when the girl turned him around in the chair it was like...wahooo dude, you're Matt! Crazy, Crazy. He says he might just shave his head and start over; whatever.
We've watched a few more movies. Chris says I have Movie Amnesia; I get half way through a movie and realize I've already seen it, or I ask dumb questions about actors and directors. We watched that movie with the Rock and Sean William Scott (Miranda, Alice, Roderick - you know!!) and as soon as I saw the scene with the monkeys I thought to myself, "Go away monkeys, go away monkeys (Alice!!) " Ha Ha, and I realized I'd watched it when Alice and Roderick rented it. Oh well!
On Saturday night we all went over to Kim's apartment which is totally cute. We played a new "drinking game" that Dan and Kim invented appropriately named "drink". Basically you think of something and ask the others "What ____ am I thinking of?" Like what finger am I thinking of or what president am I thinking of or what 80's band am I thinking of. Then the other people guess and if they get it wrong they have to drink. There are other rules too, but anyway, it was a blast.
On Sunday there was much pool going, relaxing, eating sushi, and watching Sam practice his stunts in the courtyard. He can flip off trees and he is working on being able to take four steps up a tree before he flips instead of just three!... go Sam the squirrel!!

Hope all is well with everyone
Send me emails
Heather

I heard it on the radio

Just some interesting stories that I heard on the radio this morning:

IN THE NEWS: There is a street in West Hollywood called "Dick St". Now personally, considering West Hollywood is, like, the Gay Capitol of the Los Angeles, I'd think that the residents would be pretty thrilled with their properly themed street name. Apparently, however, they're not happy at all and they are demanding a name change for the street - a change that is going to end up costing the city thousands of dollars. Aren't there better things they can do with that money? Like hire someone to clean Dick, or make sure Dick is well lit, or increase the speed bumps so that Dick is safer. I mean honestly people!!
Just pronounce it differently or something - emphasize the "I". Oh, wait, no - then you'd have Dyke. Oh well, nevermind.


CHRISTMAS IS COMING

More than ever before, I related deeply to Ryan Seacrest this morning. He really made me smile.

I love Christmas. Now that I've spent a few days collecting decorations and gathering my pennies to by a few holiday trimmings, I've realize how much my mother really did to make Christmas festive. We never really had to do the difficult stuff like stringing the lights on the tree or wraping the garland up the staircase. Somewhere in between Thanksgiving and Winter Break, Christmas just sorta happened around our house - complete with the smell of gingersnaps and evergreens (even though for many years we had a fake tree). At dad's house it was just the same. One weekend we'd visit and it'd be "dad's house as usual", the next it would be a winter wonderland strait out of "Better Homes and Gardens".

This morning Ryan Seacrest was having listeners call in about "difficult holiday chores" and he gave his best example.

"You know those stupid lights that go in all the windows?" he asked "Well every year we had those, and every year all of us children would run hiding at sunset."

I laughed remembering how much I dreaded turning on the lights.

"I couldn't stand having the job of turning on the lights", Seacrest continued. "We had so many windows in our house, and the lights weren't alwasy accessible, so you'd end up leaving the job with cut fingers and electrical shocks. And God forbid one of the blubs was burnt out."

I too recalled the experience. The window in the living room was the worst as it was behind a huge tree mom had in there. I knew if I struggled too much, the tree would drop leaves, creating a whole other task. I don't know why the simple act of turning on all the candle lights was such a daunting task, but apparently Ryan could relate. And I thought to myself, "Obviously the task wasn't that exciting if all the parents were pawning the job off on the kids!"

Pictures from the Shoot!!!

These are pictures from the
Short I'm producing

The movie is called
"The Modern Unicorn's Guide to Love and Magic"

This is the Unicorn and the lead female, Mary Elise





This is the Main Character and Mary Elise on the beach










Kiss!

My Monthly Dose of Birth Control

Every now and then I take on a challenging babysitting job. While the extra money in the pocket is an excellent perk, a babysitting job is a great little reminder that I'm not ready to have children.

This weekend, a young couple from Tampa Florida paid me to watch their three-year-old. For a couple hundred bucks I was to watch little Makayla from 10pm on Friday night until 9am Sunday morning, a task that didn't seem too difficult at all. Surly she'd be sleeping half that time and I could fill the rest with a walk to the park, a video, a few games, and mealtimes.

After spending the evening at "Howl at the Moon", a fun little piano bar in Universal City, Seton and I headed back to my apartment in time for the arrival of our new "bundle of joy." Makayla was half-asleep when she arrived; Seton, not surprisingly, was already fully asleep on the couch on the porch.

Makayla's mother helped me get her into her PJ's and up into my bed. She quickly fell asleep after a few kisses from her mother and the sound of her plastic music box playing on my desk. It was 10:30 as her parents left, and as I shut the door a daunting thought crossed my mind, "What if they don't come back?" I mean LA is a pretty crazy place, and the $100 dollars they'd paid me up-front is a small price to pay to have someone take a kid off your hands!!

I resolved that Makayla was simply too cute for anyone to want to leave her and my thoughts were confirmed the next day when she woke up. She barley cried. She simply told me, "I'm ready to get up now." So we headed downstairs for Breakfast and the viewing of the "Heffelump Movie". Seton was already awake, and watching the two of them get acquainted was like watching something out of the discovery channel. He'd look at her, she'd hide her eyes, she'd look at him, he'd make a weird face and then he'd mumble something about never wanting to have children. How endearing.

She finished her cereal and quickly announced the first words since getting up, "Gowww Potttiiee!"

She insisted, however, that we use the potty on the second floor even though the one downstairs was much more convenient. We traveled up the stairs and potty time went quite smoothly. We returned downstairs, step by step, and we were only downstairs for a few minutes before she announced again, "Gooowwww Pottieeeee" (it sounds more like "big party" when she says it though).

So in fear of a wet floor, I walked with her upstairs - step by step. She didn't go to the bathroom, but we went through the whole process - washing hands and all, and headed back down the stairs - step by step. After her third announcement of "Gowwwww Pottieeee", it became apparent to me that this child must have been stair-deprived. She apparently enjoyed going up and down the stairs so much that she was forced to fake the need to go to the potty. Unfortunately for us, she was good at faking it complete with butt in the air, holding the croch, and moving around practically in tears ..."Gowwwww Pottieeee".

"Why don't you make her sit until she goes," Seton suggested as we both kinda watched her do the potty dance.

"I already did," I returned, "Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't"

Seton found it the perfect time to exit the premises and return to his apartment for a shower, and thus began my attempt at distraction. "Let's play a game...Let's go on the porch...let's play the piano....let's read a book".... I suggested anything to keep her mind off the very entertaining staircase. Then she began a new obsession.

"Where Seeeton go?" she'd ask

Funny how she wasn't a huge fan when he was around.

"Where Seeeeton go?"

"He went to his house," I answered "We'll see him after we go to the park"

She was very excited about going to the park.

"Pawwwk?" "Pawwwwkkkkk???"

During the child-paced walk to the park, I learned a lot about this unique three-year old. First of all, she says hello to everyone! She's also very polite. When she tripped on the sidewalk she said sorry! She never cried even during the whole long walk around the park and then all the way to the grocery store. In the grocery store, I learned about her "Dora The Explorer" obsession as she managed to find EVERYTHING in the store that had Dora on it. A balloon, some drinks, and even a can of soup which she insisted on.

"Darnit, why don't they make mac and cheese with Dora on it" I'm thinking to myself as she's saying "Dora soup, Dora soup" over and over again.

Then we walk all the way back to the apartment, groceries in hand . Of course this is when she starts to get tired, so here I am trying to carry an arm full of groceries and a 35 lb kid across Vineland. And when we get to the stairs she's ready to walk again as we go up step - by step.

Lunchtime was fun. As I expected, she wanted nothing to do with the Dora Soup. "Jelly" she said as I made her a PB and J and prayed that she wasn't one of those kids that demanded the crust off. She wasn't - thankfully.

Seton returned from his day of hunting for good tire deals. We realized we'd have to go for a little car ride with Makayla so that he could drop of his car. The whole time I'm driving she's saying "Where Seton?" "Where Seton Go?" But when he finally got into our car she said nothing to him. In fact, she didn't really even like it when he attempted to help buckle her into her seat.

We had some time to kill while the tires were being repaired so we drove to Smart and Final to pick up a few things. As soon as we get into the store - you guessed it " Gowwwwww Pottttieeeeee!"

I searched for a restroom while Seton paid, and it was a good thing b/c this time she really had to go!
Then, as we walked out to the car, the two of us carrying our bags and Makayla trailing behind, Seton again announced, "ugh- I don't think I want children."

We loaded the bags and he helped her up into her seat, buckled her in, and handed her her Dora Doll and her juice.

Then we went to blockbuster- an interesting experience in itself.

"I guess we have to get something sheeee can watch" Seton said as we walked into the store.

"Um, no", I responded "That's one great thing about kids - they have early bedtimes."

Seton's eyes lit up.

We walked around the store only to find a new, interesting and odd thing about this child. Every time she pointed at a movie, it was something with a horribly scary cover. We're talking incredibly scary. She'd point and say, "disss" and then smile. It was really weird.

It was cute to watch her pick up a movie and run over to Seton and say, "ooouk Seton, ook!"

He'd smile at her and look at me with an "oh my god she just brought me "The Bride of Chucky" face and then she'd run off giggling and grab another movie.

We finally picked out a movie and headed back to the car. She wasn't thrilled about being put back in her seat to which Seton proclaimed, "Just put her in, geeze" - such patience.

We picked up the car and she fell asleep on the ride home. I have to admit it was pretty cute to see her sleeping there in the back. Of course she woke up when Seton sat next to her on the couch once we got home. For someone who doesn't want children, he sure looked like he was having fun "flirting" with her on the couch. It made it really easy on me, though, because he apparently was great entertainment as she laughed and giggled at him. Then he started in with the twizzlers to which he informed me, "she won't eat it unless it's in really small pieces." So he sat there and broke them up for her. "She's such a princess," he said.

I soon put her to bed, and as I closed the door to my room I realized my "birth control" was only half effective. I mean I don't want children now, but they aren't all that bad.

What Heather Needs according to google

Go to Google.

Type in "(your name) needs" ~ remember to use quotes.

From the top results, pick 5 different websites that say what you desperately need. It's almost spooky how right on it is ~ here's mine: (SO FUNNY THAT I PICKED 10)


1) "Heather Needs A rest" - from the homesite of the Department of Agriculture and Rural Development - I think a rest is a given

2) "Heather Needs Two Therapists" - from some site that apparently thinks I need not one, but TWO Therapists!!

3) "Little Heather needs to be congratulated for defending herself from unkindness" - um Ok!!??? - - didn't know I was so awful to myself

4) "I know that might annoy some conservatives, but Heather needs at least two mommies." - - - what? Isn't one enough?????

5) "Heather needs men....NOW!!" - again, isn't one enough!!???

6) "Dad said that Heather needs to start wearing a brassiere" - well that's wishful thinking!!

7) "Heather needs to stick to her career as a country artist" - Dad told me if I'd ever sing it would be country - then Ahmad told me not to quit my day job.

8)"Heather needs your help in determining how much money she will need for gas" - nope, I can do the math - I need a whole hell of a lot out here in CA!!!!!!

9) "Heather needs to be kept moist" - although I could comment on the sexual innuendo of this one, I think they were referring to the plant!!

10) "Heather needs a life" - well clearly! I'm writing this thing aren't I??

The funny thing is that when I google "Heather Wants" I get
"Heather Wants a New Job" - that's the first thing that comes up - Hiatus here I come!!!


I picked some of the names of my friends and family just to see what came up. See if you made the list.


"Debbie wants to focus on bringing the many different racial
and ethnic groups in her area together to create economic development"

"Scot wants to show the golfing world how much his game has improved
over the past year." - (and I actually googled Scot with one t) - so Dad, has your game improved since you did a whole 18 hole course in one shot?????

I think Seton's and Belden's were the scariest b/c of how accurate they (kinda) are

"Seton wants to build and own a new $200 million facility because of overcrowded conditions at the existing hospital."
and "Seton wants success in the field as much as he wants stability off it"
and also funny "Seton wants to cherry pick this jewel from the city"....hmmmmm????

Belden's said the following: "Oh yea and Belden wants you guys, yes you people, to see if you can tell which one is the true version." (is this a twin reference!!??)

Lisa (frick first, then jordan) - you guys had some interesting ones

"Lisa wants to improve her arabic" - Ahmad will love that!!

but the funny one was instead of the first line being "Lisa wants...blah blah blah" it was just an entire article called "What Lisa Wants" - - kinda like "lisa says"????

"Matt wants his SOAP" - buy Matt some soap!!!!!!

"Kaitlin wants some size 50 panties in black, red and white" - ummm, don't ask, don't tell is all I have to say about that one!!!

"Kate wants to play Wonder Woman" - that couldn't be more accurate!!! :)

"Chrystal wants to wait for the cops to show before any info sharing starts"

"Jackie Wants to be a Jedi" - it also said "Jackie wants to be a star"

Ahmad's said "Ahmad wants to get married" about six times, but then I found "Ahmad wants to play store, but the rest of the group wants to play post office" - why don't you just build an entire city Ahmad!!??


well I'd love it if you guys would search your names if they aren't already here and let me know what you find.

More Wine?

Yesterday I had my first shoot where I played the role of producer dealing with the restaurant owners, asking the interview questions, etc. I was pretty excited until we got to the restaurant at the scheduled time only to find out that the owners thought we were a day early!

We were able to organize a later shoot and decided to return at 5:30. Language barriers are such a fun challenge. It's amazing how a simple comment or question can be completely misunderstood.

We had one of the waiters, for example, holding a large plate of appetizer - a plate that the owner was VERY excited about featuring. Then we decided that we would have the waitress being interviewed comment about the plate we just shot.

"We'll show you talking," I explained, "and then we'll cut to a shot of that."

"What???" the owner questioned

"You going to cut that?" he asked, "You no like? We make somsing else - no? Yes. Something else!"

Before we knew what was happening, we had two tables filled with food, drinks and wine.

By the end of the shoot we were spending a few hours drinking complimentary wine and finishing up all the food that was prepared. Ahhh the perks of the industry.

Marathon in the Wine Country

This past weekend Seton and I traveled to Santa Barbara to run a half marathon along the cost.

It was my first 1/2 marathon so I was very excited and a bit nervous when we arrived. We watched the sun rise near the pier while we took turns using the porta-johns that had been set up along the course. Thankfully they also provided something I'd never seen before - an outdoor washing station where you use your foot to pump water through a spout so you can wash your hands - a much needed device after using a porta-john.



Then we traveled down the the start line, picked up our packets which included various running pamphlets, powerbars, and the ever-encouraging packet of tylenol. Since we knew that we'd be running at different paces, we knew we'd have trouble finding each other in the crowd that inevitably gathers at the finish line, so we came up with a plan: we would both leave our cell phones in the car and carefully store the keys inside the gas tank so that we could both get our phones after the race.

We had an hour or so to kill before the start of the 1/2 marathon and we filled this hour with two very interesting activities - experiences to which you could probably comment "you know you're a runner when".

First of all, we spent a good 15-20 minutes looking for tape. Seton had to tape his nipples so that they wouldn't bleed. Yes, that's right, runners (usually men who don't wear sports bras) often have issues with their shirts rubbing on their nipples and thus causing them to bleed.

After saving setons nipples we headed towards a new set of porter-johns. The first round at the Johns was simple. In and out - no problem. "Pick the line with more men," Seton said.

But soon after our first potty break, my nerves kicked in and I had to go again. However, this time, when we got to the line we couldn't even see the end of it. Finding the line with the least amount of women would have required some serious math. By the time we got to the end of the line I heard one man comment, "Well, that had to have been a mile right there - now we only have to run 12".

I couldn't stand the idea of waiting in the line. In addition, the race was going to start soon, so I got a little creative. Don't hold it against me. "Ahhahhh", I said as I ran towards the mobile sinks. I grabbed a bunch of brown paper towels and wadded them up as I ran towards the beach. Seton followed me hesitantly. "What are you going to do?" he questioned , "pee on the paper?"

"Yup" I said

I'll spare you the details, but if you can imagine Seton and me squatting on the beach.

"Just sit here and talk to me," I said "Act natural".

It was the first time I think I "peed" in his presence.


During the run I was quite happy as I noticed the break sites filled with anxious runners waiting to get a quick potty break in before hitting the tracks. I know I'm the fastest peer in town, but it surly would have hurt my time.

Seton finished in one hour and 27 minutes and then turned around to find me. When he met up with me, I was on my last mile and he handed me his Ipod and took mine.

"Listen to this song as you finish", he said attempting to put the Ipod earphones into my ears as I ran.

The music playing was Chariots of Fire - quite an inspiration as you're crossing the finish line.

I finished in two hours and thirteen minutes. My legs were a little shaky and I felt like throwing up - you know, the usual. It was great.

After we'd returned to the car, we grabbed our things and set out to find a way to bathe. No, taking a full bath in the "portable sinks" was not a possibility so we went down to the pier. The peer bathrooms are set up for boaters, but they're locked as they do not allow access to outsiders.

Seton and I waited by the bathroom and when a boater exited the men's room he went inside. After a moment inside, he peaked his head out.

"There's a guy .... in the stall..." he whispered, "but ...when he comes out... you come in."

I waited for the man to emerge and when he did, like a cartoon character casually whistling before doing something really bad, I snuck into the bathroom.

We got our showers in, got dressed, brushed our hair and crept out of the bathroom just in time for an entire boating family to watch us exit. We just walked away smiling - happy to be clean.


Later that afternoon we traveled to the wine country. The drive up the coast was amazing. It was a totally new experience - an incredible combination of sun and ocean mixed with mountains and the colors of changing leaves on the grape vines. We played Enya through the car stereo and opened the sunroof so as to take in every aspect of the moment at hand.


Then we went to the Sanford Winery- the one in the very first Winery Scene in Sideways when Miles teaches Jack how to taste wine - "...just a hint of edan cheese..."



Wine tasting was great, and I'd love to do it again. We got back to LA LA land just in time to get in a good night's sleep.




CHEERS

The LA Mailing System

I will call this story "And Then There were Two"

Now that I live in Hollywood I've surrendered to the fact that mail delivery will never be the same again. Gone are the days when I can walk down my driveway in my nightgown and bare feet and converse with the neighbors as I open a standard mailbox (you know - the ones that actually go into the ground). No longer will I experience a metal box filled with the sweet site of promptly delivered mail wrapped neatly in a rubber band. No, these days are gone.

My postal experience has been replaced with a treacherous process that starts with getting dressed, putting on shoes, and perhaps even makeup. Now I know I'm not one to be concerned about hair and makeup just to go down to the mailbox, but who knows who you'll have to deal with (this will come into play later). And so the long walk through the apartment and down to the mailboxes begins. The trip gives me time to search through the endless keys on my key chain (one for the main door, one for the side door, one for the front door,.....) to find the my mail box key. After struggling for a few minutes to wedge the key into the system of tiny silver boxes, I pry the door open to reveal a plethora of junk mail mixed with the occasional bill, and if I'm lucky, a letter.

Getting packages is an entirely different issue. First of all, packages are only delivered during the week between the hours of 10am and 4pm during which time most normal people are, guess what, NOT HOME!!!! So the extremely difficult responsibility of signing for packages is left up to the woman in the front office. Her door bares the sign that reads "Office hours - Monday- Friday, 9am-5pm". Unfortunately, she forgot to read her own sign because she is never manning her post thus leaving my postman to fend for himself. This poses a huge problem as there is a giant locked door blocking his path to my mailbox and my apartment. If I'm lucky, he'll leave a notice telling me where to retrieve the package which, of course, will involve getting in the car (good thing I brought my keys), traveling to the post office (good thing I got dressed), and standing amongst the likes of Denis Quaid (good thing I wore the makeup) to hopefully retrieve my package. Many times this doesn't work, and no one seems to know (or care) where my package is.

__

A few months ago I was invited to go skiing at Whistler with Seton's family over Christmas Vacation. I was very excited about the trip and began taking inventory of my ski equipment. My skis were in Charlotte, so I had Rich and Catherine Campe climb into the attic at our house and get my skis. My friend Cameron then picked them up and met me in S.C when I was there for a wedding to deliver them to me. I purchased new boots as the old ones were old and didn't fit, and my mother kindly ordered new ski pants for me from one of her favorite websites (website name withheld do to the negative comments to follow). Something, details of which I am uncertain of, occurred with the ordering of the ski pants, and so began the process of trying to locate the delivery. After trips to the post office and a few phone calls, my mother had to reorder the pants and report the missing pants. This time she used my work address and the pants arrived just fine via a kind, chubby delivery man who came right to the door.

It recently dawned on me that because Whistler is in Vancouver, I would need to get a new passport. My mother paid $13.67 to have the tiny document expressed mailed to my apartment overnight. However, when I arrived at my apartment one hour after the scheduled delivery time, there was no package to be found. The small envelope that should have been left in my mailbox was not in the front office, and Miss "I'm never here when I say I am" insisted that nothing had been dropped off and no delivery men had stopped by.

The next few days were tarnished with arguments between me and my mother, long hours tracking the package, and endless annoying phone calls to post offices and supervisors. I finally found that the package was at my post office and I would have to take a lunch break to go retrieve it.

Good thing I picked the day when the post office was getting robbed! There I am, standing in line as the cops drag off the genius who decided that the post office with giant bullet proof glass would be the ideal place to rob. All the while I'm thinking to myself, "How ironic would that be? I go to the post office to get my BIRTH CERTIFICATE and I DIE in a shooting."

Finally, I make my way to the front desk and struggle to speak to the man behind the bullet proof glass. He has a lisp and a distinctive twitch which, now that I think about it, he probably got from the scare of the hold-up. He retreats to the back room in search of my package and when he returns he's carrying a package that appears way too big for a mere birth certificate.

"Disss ....Diiiisss - D - D Diss is yours, no?" he asks.

"Well, yes I suppose so," I say, "but it's supposed to be a birth certificate and that package looks a little big."

"Noo - n - noo - diss is not, not a birth certificate."

"Well, I called yesterday, and they said it was here. They used a tracking number."

"I w - w - will - g g gg ggg - go check again," he promises.

He quickly returns proudly carrying the birth certificate and I leave the post office/crime scene with two packages. When I get in the car, I'm curious to open the larger package, and when I do, balled up inside is a great pair of black ski pants!

So I guess the moral of the story is, "When its a matter of Birth or Death, don't rely on the postal service. Otherwise, just give it time and you may receive what's coming to you - two fold."

~Heather

Welcome to My Blog

Hello everyone,
Well my LA LA land emails have been so popular that I decided to create a blog. This way, you can visit my blogging site any time, any day, and read what I've written. Plus, you can add comments so that the rest of the readers can hear what you have to say about my adventures in LA LA land - happy trails!

~Heather