Extreme Teeth Makeover - not too extreme

Ever seen "Extreme Makeover" where they take some unfortunate looking soul and turn them into a bombshell complete with boob job, liposuction, rhinoplasty, tummy tuck, and porcelain veneers? Well I decided to try it out. Hey, it's Hollywood! Would it be that crazy if I decided I needed to increase my breast size by 2 cups, decrease my butt size by 3 sizes, and play Mr. Potato head with my face? It would be? Oh man, you guys aren't any fun!!!

Okay, so I settled for a mere teeth whitening. Actually the real story is that Dr. Dorfman - the dentist from Extreme Makeover - was on our show one day and he offered the procedure to me. I couldn't pass that up. So now my teeth are white(er) and a little sore. I'm wondering if waiters think I'm from Europe when I ask for no ice in my drinks. What? You think the American accent gives it away? Oh well.